According to a recent report by Harvard Business Review, 99% of people are drinking too slow. Yes that means you. We’re here to fix that problem with our no-nonsense, fool-proof guide to building a beer bong.
Let’s go over the basics. Why is it so damn slow to drink beer out of a can? Because there is only 1 hole for two things to travel (that’s what she said), those two things being air and beer. As beer moves out of the can, air moves into the can; when there is only one hole for this to occur, the result is an uneven and slow moving stream of beer. By widening the hole or adding a second one the pressure differential is actively equalized allowing the beer to flow freely [refer to shotgunning a beer]. The beer bong takes advantage of this principle, but increases the capacity of the container so more than 1 beer can be had a time.
Anatomy of the Beer Bong
The most common form of the beer bong involves three main parts: funnel, tubing and spigot. The funnel is used to facilitate pouring of the beer and in some cases can serve as an extended reservoir. The tubing or body of the bong is what holds the majority of the beer. A spigot provides an easy way to manage the flow of the whole package. Now in theory there are 4 feasible setups involving these 3 parts: funnel + tube + spigot, funnel + tube, tube+ spigot, and just tube. After years of testing all 4 of these designs we found the one design to rule them all: spigot + extra wide tubing.
This design is the easiest to build with the fewest leakage points. We often found that thin tubing required too much length to effectively hold beers and the interface where the funnel met tubing often leaked. Because the volume of a cylinder is determined by πr2h, a 200% increase in diameter (constant height) results in a 400% increase in volume. The jumbo tubing also negates the need for a funnel since it is easy to pour into. Two birds with one stone—fuck yeah.
-2.5 feet of 2″ inner diamter PVC tubing
-2″ outer diameter spigot
-1 worm tie
Building the Beer Bong
1. Take your spigot and insert it into the tubing (that’s what she said)
2. Tighten the worm tie around the joint where the spigot and tubing meet.