So you just got back to this chick’s place and you are about to get lucky. It’s too bad you are about to be S.O.L. Those 8 pregame shots and 5 more at the bar are gonna make your dick softer than baby food or make it so you couldn’t come if every Victoria’s Secret Angel was givin’ you a blowie at the same time. So, unfortunately for your slam piece, their won’t be any pearl necklaces for all her hard work.
Luckily for you you stumbled upon this article. There is indeed a fool-proof method to prevent whiskey dick—don’t fucking drink. But we all know you can’t do that. Even if you could, your sober game is terrible and you need those beer goggles before you start your whaling expedition. But before you pick up that next beer, take a look at what Drunkt’s consulting doctors of sexual medicine had to say:
No more than one or two drinks for optimal performance, too much alcohol can act as a depressant and inhibit the orgasmic reflex.
Now you’re probably thinking, only 1 or 2 shots? How can I stick to that stupid rule? Well since you have no self control, do yourself a favor and stick to wine. Wine forces you to take your time: no gimmicky triple-double shots, shotgunning or beerbonging, just a nice, cool buzz that won’t put your dack to sleep. Sure you might look a bit faggy with that bottle of white zinfandel but at least you can get it up when the time comes.